Fire jokes

What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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whats stephan hawkings called on fire hotwheels:)

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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