What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
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