(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site. Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
RUS | ENG