Fire jokes

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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