Fire jokes

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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