Green jokes

What’s green and smells like ham. Kermit the frogs fingers

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What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

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What is Green and red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

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What happen when someone shot the Hulk? He got gangryeen. Gangrene+green+angry

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Shrek and the Hulk became politicians And they created The Green Party

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Stephen Hawking is intelligent. He is not as green as he is cabbage.

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Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick. What’s invisible and bad for you to breath? Mustard gas. What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste

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What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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What do you call a green camel. My parents left me.

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My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess :D

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