3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler
A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks “what are you doing dad” the dad replies “having sex with your mom son” and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts “what the hell are you doing son” the kid replies " it’s not funny when it’s your mom is it"
How do you make holy water? You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him “Hey man What the hell you doing? ”. Blind guy says “Just looking around”
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :) Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day Give a man a poisoned potato, hell be full for the rest of his life.
When a 68 year old teacher says: I am going to tackle an intruder if i have to! Me: Oh hell nah
In heaven responsible for the joke is the English man for food the Italian man and for the law and order a German man… In hell responsible for food is htm title=' Italian man and for jokes the German man'>the English man for order and law the Italian man and for jokes the German man
Hell you f@ck bitch dick
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he’ll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he’ll fly for the rest of his life. I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’,
If you don’t like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON’T ACCEPT YOU HERE! If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at and if they cry, just say ‘hey here are your parents’ then grab nothing. perfect example.
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