Hell jokes

i have a friend who dont have a dad he says: ur useless go to hell me: wait why do u want me to join ur dad

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So I was f**g this bh right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I’m wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides? ! I guess my sister needs new friends…

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My version of the Roses are red Poem in MW3: I thought Soap could trust you And so did I too So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

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How do we know Stephen is dying in hell There’s a stairway to heaven.

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!”

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[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

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aw hell naw dey turned spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.

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NINA YOU BETTER RUN TO HELL YOUR GOING THERE ANYWAY!!! YOU DONT BE MEAN TO ALEX!!! HE IS SWEET KIND LOVING AND PROTECTIVE!!!

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Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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Why did Steven Hawking go to hell not heaven Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell

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