Hell jokes

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What is Steven hawkins favorite song? Highway To hell The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?” To which the boy replies “No” The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet. At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?” “Shut up” she replied The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?” But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet. But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet. But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!” The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet. The boy replies “Shut up.” “Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.” The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?” The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this? ” The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”

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So I was f**g this bh right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I’m wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides? ! I guess my sister needs new friends…

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Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins he has all power but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea that’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different. Our lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven the promise land only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our lord. This is your choice believe and go to Heaven or don’t believe and go to Hell a eternal death make a choice.

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i have a friend who dont have a dad he says: ur useless go to hell me: wait why do u want me to join ur dad

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The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today

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One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. “Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!” the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. “Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?” the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. “Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?” the man asked. The nun replied, “Okay, only one thing.” “What would you like?” asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. “How about a little gin?” the man concluded. “Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don’t see what I’m drinking?” asked the nun. “Fine,” the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. “Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?” asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. “Don’t tell me that damn nun is out there again!” the bartender said.

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3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.

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Bick: Jesus isn’t real. Ron: Yes he is. Bick: Prove it, bitch. Ron: Cussing is a in. Open the curtains. Bick: Wh- Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT. The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell. Ron: f@ck you, Jesus. Bick: Told you Jesus was real. Satan: Get to work, slaves. Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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