Hell jokes

So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler

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So… here’s da scoop, alright… licks KFC off lips so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean? I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: “Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?” Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me? But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13! Alas, I’m writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I’ll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

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A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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do you know what the equivalent to hell is theses days listening to your teacher not haveing your phone/ game / tv not haveing niccotine

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My friend:What are you doing Me:I?m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I?m boiling the hell out of it.

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None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw who the hell is gwen?

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What’s Steven Hawkins favorite song? Highway to hell because it’s a staircase to heaven.

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Why are short people so angry?? Cause their closer to hell

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Why did Steven Hawking go to hell not heaven Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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My version of the Roses are red Poem in MW3: I thought Soap could trust you And so did I too So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

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