Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?” “Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.
Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie - oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast- ?? your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie?? Chandler-?? yup your one high fluting son of a gun?? Mr. Beast- ?? I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant?? Miss Kadie - ?? don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid?? kids- ?? we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie - ?? I just want to die because I’m so sad Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum low on the spectrum, at least I can write this joke
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew,
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the ‘bright side’ of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. – He was high on my list of priorities.
I hate child murderers there always so high-pitched.
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex… I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted
RUS | ENG
