High jokes

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

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All school meetings introductions: Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!” Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!” High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,” One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

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There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can’t.

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“Hotel Rwanda” has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes. But their Yelp reviews are terrible.

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(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew,

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As a fellow emo i find these very rude and disrespectful plz take off or i tell mom. Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby please tell me (I’m asking for a friend) P. S. I have no friends

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Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a hot wheels car

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What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump? $2 billion and high cholesterol.

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What’s the difference between 69 and High School? In 69 you usually only kiss one cnt and look at one a*hole

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