A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms? ) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
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