A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
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