When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
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