Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
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