tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
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