tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
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