Hit jokes

What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

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What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.

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Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

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What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

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Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender

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What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

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An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

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I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

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Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home

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The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed

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What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

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