Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
RUS | ENG
