So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
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