Hit jokes

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What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

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If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor

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I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

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Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)

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So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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