what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
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