What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
Depression hits harder than my dad
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
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