friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
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