Hit jokes

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

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any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

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Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.

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Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

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Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming

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titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

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What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready

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When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender

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What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

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A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um

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