A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
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