There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Depression hits harder than my dad
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
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