My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
RUS | ENG
