Hit jokes

Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus

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An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

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So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

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My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted

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I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

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Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home

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Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms? ) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.

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If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run

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