When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
RUS | ENG