Hit jokes

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

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What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.

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A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

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What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

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Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming

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