There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
RUS | ENG