titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ""Yes madam…My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher. “My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.” Pin drop silence in the class !! ""Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ? ” “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```…!!!”
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
Depression hits harder than my dad
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