I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
Depression hits harder than my dad
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
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