Hit jokes

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026