What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
Depression hits harder than my dad
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
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