If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
RUS | ENG
