When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
Depression hits harder than my dad
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
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