What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
RUS | ENG
