i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
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