What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
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