I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
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