What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
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