Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
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