Hope jokes

I GAVE UP HOPE AND I LIKED IT!! I TAKE MEDS TO FEEL FANTASTIC! (i kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Your’e moama is so funey looking that when the doctor called her he said never visit me againe I hope you dye

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants… I hope they’re happy now

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think “I hope you get laid tonight.” By a tweaker with AIDS.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Who ever invented school I hope you burn in hell.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

hhpr

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026