Hope jokes

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Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.

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What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

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I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.

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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I’m EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat

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Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

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whoever took my anti-depressent pills I hope your f@cking happy

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When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too

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