Hope jokes

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hope I’m not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough. Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don’t remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop. PS It’s not for drama, it’s because you’re bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask. Thank you. Addison.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hope there is a lift to heaven ?? I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A little girl was sitting with some other kids, she thought to herself, I want to have kids when Im older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I GAVE UP HOPE AND I LIKED IT!! I TAKE MEDS TO FEEL FANTASTIC! (i kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026