Hope jokes

So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I’m EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat

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So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan’t to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

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The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you, I hope Scotland gets freedom I can’t wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

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When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too

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What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

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A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

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