Hope jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!” mom: “no you can’t…” me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!” lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I’m not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don’t have to read this! So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y’all!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Dads are boomerangs, I hope. ???????????????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”. She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer. ” I hope ya’ll that have depression kys you are worthless trash just kidding

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026