Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think “I hope you get laid tonight.” By a tweaker with AIDS.
I donated to the LQBTQ community hopefully now they can find a cure
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”. She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer. ” I hope ya’ll that have depression kys you are worthless trash just kidding
To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfather’s? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
I hope death is a girl that way it’ll never come for me. Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she’d die
Hi guys I am starting a gwen funny club if you wanna join then just type so here hope you have fun! Oh and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, “there is a zebra crossing up the road”, he said, “I hope he is having better luck than I am”.
how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.
My hopes and dreams
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I hope you see this plugin, but if your listing to this I really want to give you a little more…
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
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