one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!” mom: “no you can’t…” me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!” lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope. ???????????????
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”. She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer. ” I hope ya’ll that have depression kys you are worthless trash just kidding
A police man once said I will never forget 9/11 I said I hope not that’s your phone number
Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I hope Stephen hawking was an organ donor cause I need some parts for my go cart While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said “Sorry! It’s been awhile since I’ve possessed a body.” She looked horrified. Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope! Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes. You won’t eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won’t eat a person.
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down
What does the man say about his baby sister lydia? "I hope she electricutes herself!’
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