A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
i love murder shows… wish me luck cause im kinda hoping to be on one one day
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
Never say to a orphan “ bye buddy hope you find your dad”
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids, she thought to herself, I want to have kids when Im older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!????
I donated to the LQBTQ community hopefully now they can find a cure
I hope there is a lift to heaven ?? I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ????
I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.
To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy
A man went to Ford dealership hoping to find a car but he said the weren’t aFORDable
My hopes and dreams
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
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