Hope jokes

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”

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Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.

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i told my friend to watch naruto, it’s been a week since i’ve seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece

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Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

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I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

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how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

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I hope death is a girl that way it’ll never come for me. Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she’d die

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