Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because these jokes are not funny Heres why the chicken crossed the road… The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road.The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck’s opening, and was never seen again… The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said…" The chicken crossed the road…" The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road, and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and reddit was full of the chicken nonsense, and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day. The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal, and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller. The End (hope you enjoyed, i was bored so i made this shit…)
Ok this is a texting joke this isnt my joke found it on google Mom:SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol Son:mom how is that funny? !?! i hope ur not laughing MOm:OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Hope everyone is having a good day ??
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, “there is a zebra crossing up the road”, he said, “I hope he is having better luck than I am”.
Whoever Stole My Anti-Depression Medications I Hope You’re Happy!
this is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? i see there is a bunch of haters but DON’T i repeat, DON’T let the haters get to you. i hope you see this and respon and that you are okay plz Gwen be honest.
“I hope my death would make for sense then my life”- joker
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
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