Hope jokes

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

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My hopes and dreams

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

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To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now

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Never say to a orphan “ bye buddy hope you find your dad”

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Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down

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whoever took my anti-depressent pills I hope your f@cking happy

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I hope you see this plugin, but if your listing to this I really want to give you a little more…

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Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

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twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

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I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk

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One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????

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me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

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I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

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