Hope jokes

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I’ll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I’ll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I’m unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS

me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

Hi guys I am starting a gwen funny club if you wanna join then just type so here hope you have fun! Oh and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

I donated to the LQBTQ community hopefully now they can find a cure

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

My hopes and dreams

Hope this good

I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.

I hope Stephen hawking was an organ donor cause I need some parts for my go cart While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said “Sorry! It’s been awhile since I’ve possessed a body.” She looked horrified. Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope! Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes. You won’t eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won’t eat a person.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I’m EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????

Hope everyone is having a good day ??

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, “there is a zebra crossing up the road”, he said, “I hope he is having better luck than I am”.

its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.