I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that
whoever took my anti-depressent pills I hope your f@cking happy
A little girl was sitting with some other kids, she thought to herself, I want to have kids when Im older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!????
Ok this is a texting joke this isnt my joke found it on google Mom:SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol Son:mom how is that funny? !?! i hope ur not laughing MOm:OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Hope this good
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy
My hopes and dreams
So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”
A man went to Ford dealership hoping to find a car but he said the weren’t aFORDable
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”
Hope the towers in the morning and get back to you!
Hope everyone is having a good day ??
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
I hope Stephen hawking was an organ donor cause I need some parts for my go cart While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said “Sorry! It’s been awhile since I’ve possessed a body.” She looked horrified. Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope! Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes. You won’t eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won’t eat a person.
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