Hope jokes

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

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(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/. These people who are offended by rape jokes

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Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I’m not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don’t have to read this! So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y’all!!!

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So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan’t to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!

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Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfather’s? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

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one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!” mom: “no you can’t…” me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!” lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it

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A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, “there is a zebra crossing up the road”, he said, “I hope he is having better luck than I am”.

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Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.

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