its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!” mom: “no you can’t…” me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!” lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I’m not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don’t have to read this! So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y’all!!!
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer…but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. “I’m so sorry,” he declared! “I don’t know what came over me, and realize I shouldn’t have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way…what did the chicken do?” ????
You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down
Whats the difference between a Nun and a prostitue taking a bath? The Nun has a soul full of hope…
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”
Who ever invented school I hope you burn in hell.
this is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? i see there is a bunch of haters but DON’T i repeat, DON’T let the haters get to you. i hope you see this and respon and that you are okay plz Gwen be honest.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”. She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer. ” I hope ya’ll that have depression kys you are worthless trash just kidding
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
My hopes and dreams
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