Hope jokes

how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you’ll never forget! ( Btw I never actually did this irl yet) So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you’ll be sleeping.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Dads are boomerangs, I hope. ???????????????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man went to Ford dealership hoping to find a car but he said the weren’t aFORDable

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hope there is a lift to heaven ?? I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you, I hope Scotland gets freedom I can’t wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Who ever invented school I hope you burn in hell.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, In the 1980’s they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash and no Hope!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hope you forget your password to something only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026