Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man
A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
the teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I; m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.
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