why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You’re only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I’ll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it …" Dad gives in and says: “OK, give me a head-job then”. He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste’s like shit! " Dad goes: “Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon …”
Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
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