My grief counselor died the other day He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there’s a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That’s great! You’re hired! " The man smiles. “Really? I’m so glad, because I really need this Yob.”
What was Frankenstein’s second job? – He was a bodybuilder.
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