Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common? They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
life is like giving head…it always sucks
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born whats sad and has no life . the person reding this
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
it says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
The twin towers was basically angry birds but in real life
I have a funny joke: my life
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”
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