Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal??? LIFE
im not suicidal im just speedrunning life
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
All you need is a Razor Blade in life.
If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? Then there is me: My life.
“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”
what makes a nuke and divorce the same? it only takes one of each to end your life.
And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.
The twin towers was basically angry birds but in real life
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