Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa? His life insurance…
1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds! Your so fat you could sell shade! Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory? Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor… Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
My life Tell me when you get it
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)
whats the difference between life and death…life hurts
And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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