Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa? His life insurance…
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better… But now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
I have a funny joke: my life
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes. But joke time… I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it. Guy 2: Is it a hard life? Guy: Yup Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game” %%He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”
Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.
Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
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