Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes. But joke time… I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
I have a funny joke: my life
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life
What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
whats the difference between life and death…life hurts
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