What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal??? LIFE
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
life is like giving head…it always sucks
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes. But joke time… I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
All you need is a Razor Blade in life.
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
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