The twin towers was basically angry birds but in real life
Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.
My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.
Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa? His life insurance…
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
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