The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?” Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven” Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart” Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!” The teacher says, “how do you know this?” Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says “i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks.” Johnny replies “i don’t care, i don’t like honey anyway.” About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies “I don’t care, i don’t like butter anyway.” Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny’s mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says “do you want to tell her or should i?”
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin’ hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon a old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad shaking his head. He walked up to the the old farmer and asked him what’s wrong. The Old Farmer said, " my mule, he just won’t do nothing, he don’t work any more, always looking sad, barely eat, just sad." Little Johnny said, “can I
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we’re taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let’s me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that’s not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.
Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn’t matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherfckers who want to get off get off and all you motherfckers who want to get on get on his mother here’s him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherfckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherfckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.
little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, "Then go f@ck yourself
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”
One day in class little Johnny was mucking around not listening to the teacher after 5 minutes the teacher caught him and finsh what she said and said little Johnny if you weren’t listening what was the last thing htm title=' said what was the last thing I said'>I said and little Johnny replied back you said what was the last thing I said
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