Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in. Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what’s so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don’t come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what’s funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I’m done with school for a lifetime.
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said “You have 10 seconds to have one wish”. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn’t believe it. After having a drink she says, “We should have this every night!”. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, “Wheres my cup? ”. little Johny replied, “Your drinking out of the bottle tonight”.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny’s papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that’s one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is…” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’. ” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents house and he asked his grampa can I a cigarette and his grampa said well can your dick touch your asshole he said no. Then that’s your answer. A little bit later little Johnny asked for a beer his grampa said well can you dick touch your asshole he said a I already said no. Well that your. Later he was complaining to his grandma and she him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said can I have a cookie little Johnny said well can your dick touch your asshole his grampa said well yes it can and little Johnny said well go f@ck yourself old man because these are my cookies.
when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, “Then who f@cks the stork?”
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
Little Johnny beings his cat to school and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says “because I heard my dad tell my mom I’m going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave”.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing htm title=' but i like where your going with this'>out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this
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