Little johnny’s dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off. *What was that dad?" Asked lil johnny. “oh just a bug.” Said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny’s face he then says. “That bug sure had a big dick didn’t he?”
Little Jonny tried phone sex but the holes was too small.
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, "Then go f@ck yourself
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again? Little Johnny: I had to be their for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints) Made by Evie and Peyton and Peyton’s Mom
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says “get the belt” Johnny says “why?” His mother says “im gonna spank you for failing” Johnny says “so just like daddy? ” His father turns red knowing what they did last night
Johnny Johnny? Yes papa? Sniffing Cocane? YES SIRRR
Little johnnys teacher asks him “Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?” little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said “lets play a game”. so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says “A” little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself “well he might say something like a$$” so the teacher calls on sally. sally say “apple”. the teacher says “B” little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though “no he might say something like b!tch”. so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says “R” little Johnny raises his hand and say “me me please I really know one”. then the teacher thinks to herself “well theres no cuss word that starts with R” so she said “ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R” little Johnny says “a rat!” and the teacher very pleased say “very good Johnny what type of rat” little Johnny says “A big gosh damn mother freaker”. sorry I had to edit some word but y’all know what I meant.
Hey guys I’m back just wondering if any one is still on this that wants me to make more
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny! ” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
RUS | ENG
