Lost jokes

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

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Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

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“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”

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What do you call a lost indian women? Ms Singh

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Why are Americans so bad at clash Royale Because they’ve already lost 2 towers

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One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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sans:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone

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What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months? He lost may.

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