Lost jokes

roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u

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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…

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Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

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“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”

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A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”

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Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

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I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

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whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad

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I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time

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Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception

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