Lost jokes

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”

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what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos

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whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad

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roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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Why are Americans bad chess players? They lost two towers.

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A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back

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