Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…
How do you know Americas bad at chess They lost 2 towers
Why are Americans bad chess players? They lost two towers.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
RUS | ENG
