was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!
There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.
What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What did one squirrel say to the other ‘‘do you have any nuts’’
%%A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ""Pardon me sir, but you’ve got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ‘‘I know. i’ts driving me nuts!’’
“hey what’s the russian president’s name?” “putin?” “yeah, putin deez nuts in yo mouth”
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
Would you rather date me or I lady I laid deez nuts in your mouth
RUS | ENG
