A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
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