Nut jokes

I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

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Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

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2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”

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When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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What time is it when when a nurse ????? s

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? There are nuts in your poop. I found them. :(

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What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

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can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?

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If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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you know bofa? bofa deez nuts

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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