When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts
One day little johnny went to his grandma’s house and she asks “do you like nuts” and little johnny says “yes i like nuts” and his grandma says “okay then grab them out of the cabinet” so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says “whats wrong? ” little johnny says “i thought they were real nuts.” and his grandma fainted.
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.
Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!
a girl asked ?can i have some nuts too?? boy: ?sure what ones;)?
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