What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
What do you call a Dino stripper? A dinowhore
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Ow! you hit the spot!
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