Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
Ow! you hit the spot!
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
Hi ?? I was wondering
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? she just added me on snap
Knock knock who is there deez nuts
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
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