Nut jokes

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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Knock knock who is there deez nuts

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Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

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My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away

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The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.

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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

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Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

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What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts

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What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

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