I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
One day little johnny went to his grandma’s house and she asks “do you like nuts” and little johnny says “yes i like nuts” and his grandma says “okay then grab them out of the cabinet” so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says “whats wrong? ” little johnny says “i thought they were real nuts.” and his grandma fainted.
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Do you you like Cds. There’s this really cool one called C Deez nuts.
%% %%Do you ate chef boyardee’s food? No, why? Boy are deez nuts so big
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
“hey what’s the russian president’s name?” “putin?” “yeah, putin deez nuts in yo mouth”
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
RUS | ENG
