Paint jokes

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them. your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint

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hi guys I’m back! So I have a question for u. What is red aND smells like blue paint type in comments what u came up with

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My Xbox has been acting up lately… So I painted it black to make it run faster

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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How to decorate a wall: Strip of the paper and original plaster put on fresh plaster and wall paper paint it (if you want) Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply

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How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.

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