Paint jokes

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

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What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

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So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three htm title=' not doing the T post that he invented'>nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

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whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? the freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out what doe Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? they both used there brains to paint the the walls

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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