Paint jokes

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you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

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1: hey 2:what 1:we’re outta paint 2:HMM (and thats how stop signs have extra paint.)

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

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How do you paint a wall red? You shoot a baby with a .50 cal

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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What does it take to paint a wall red? Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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