Paint jokes

How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What was one cool thing about hitler he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them. What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025