Paint jokes

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall. Depends on how hard you throw them.with fuk.

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

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What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

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One Tuesday afternoon Little Jonny Decides he wants extra Homework So he went to his teacher and said,Hello can I have extra homework this week and the teacher replied with,Sure be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, Polish the counters,Scrub the Baseboards,Scrub and paint the walls! And johnny replied with,That’s not what I Ment but at least I’ll get paid! And The Teacher said, How about 200 each job? Johnny replied with,OK (Friday afternoon at her house After Johnny Does all the jobs he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, You do know that Tuesday was April fools day right?

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What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common? They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

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How many children does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw.

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