Paint jokes

How do you paint a wall red? You shoot a baby with a .50 cal

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I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave

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This is a inside jokes for my friend Caiden… HEY WHERE’D YOU GET THAT PAINT FROM? HA PAINT!!!

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What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

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Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

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hi guys I’m back! So I have a question for u. What is red aND smells like blue paint type in comments what u came up with

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you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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