Paint jokes

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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One Tuesday afternoon Little Jonny Decides he wants extra Homework So he went to his teacher and said,Hello can I have extra homework this week and the teacher replied with,Sure be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, Polish the counters,Scrub the Baseboards,Scrub and paint the walls! And johnny replied with,That’s not what I Ment but at least I’ll get paid! And The Teacher said, How about 200 each job? Johnny replied with,OK (Friday afternoon at her house After Johnny Does all the jobs he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, You do know that Tuesday was April fools day right?

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red? It depends on your speed.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them. What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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How do you paint a wall red? You shoot a baby with a .50 cal

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little Johnny likes to play with toy guns little Johnny paints them black little Johnny went to a gun store little johnny made a big mess the cemitary people were getting paid.

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Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue grey it covers up everything.

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