Paint jokes

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Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

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If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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One Tuesday afternoon Little Jonny Decides he wants extra Homework So he went to his teacher and said,Hello can I have extra homework this week and the teacher replied with,Sure be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, Polish the counters,Scrub the Baseboards,Scrub and paint the walls! And johnny replied with,That’s not what I Ment but at least I’ll get paid! And The Teacher said, How about 200 each job? Johnny replied with,OK (Friday afternoon at her house After Johnny Does all the jobs he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, You do know that Tuesday was April fools day right?

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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