Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her
whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? the freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out what doe Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? they both used there brains to paint the the walls
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.
What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint
What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
How to decorate a wall: Strip of the paper and original plaster put on fresh plaster and wall paper paint it (if you want) Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three htm title=' not doing the T post that he invented'>nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented
Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.
RUS | ENG
