Paint jokes

r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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What’s the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only needs one nail.

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What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

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How many dead babies dose it take to paint my room It depends how many bullets you have

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

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Did you hear about the dead artist Too many strokes

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Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

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How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

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I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red? It depends on your speed.

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw em

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