Paint jokes

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.

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hi guys I’m back! So I have a question for u. What is red aND smells like blue paint type in comments what u came up with

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall Depends how hatd you throw them

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 1 you just need too throw it hard enough.

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What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

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What’s the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only needs one nail.

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r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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