So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed… The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that’s not Bubba. The second friend said he’s burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn’t understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that’s not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don’t know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
Your so poor not even dollar tree has your prices
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop I thought there had been a horrible accident.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Flag of Congo - Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Yo mama so poor she can’t even pay attention.
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire (A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? no? I’m lonely. add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy. What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie? Pooreo’s
stranger. do you want a lollipop. kid. no i hate lolipops so yeah and you are not my daddy.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.
RUS | ENG
