Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!
Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker. The weekly family zoom call went well enough…until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little…plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets. So the father waited until he’d talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone. “Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?” “No, Pop, we haven’t seen anyone since we left the city,” his son told him earnestly. “And we sure haven’t gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!”
your mum is so poor she cant afford free samples
what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors? When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.
Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard…
why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed… The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that’s not Bubba. The second friend said he’s burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn’t understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that’s not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don’t know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire (A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? no? I’m lonely. add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date she took off her shoe lases and said spaghetti
Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad…to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
Why do poor people eat insects? Because they’re locust!
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