A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie? A: They were both shot in a theater.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people? Death.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.
I’m so poor, that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say Ding Dong!
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him. ?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do ??.
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire (A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? no? I’m lonely. add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
my mom was poor so we had nothing to eat me sleep on the floor but now I’m rich rich rich ??
Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch !” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "
So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”
your mum was poor so she went to rob the bank but she left cuz she couldnt find the cameras. she left her son and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
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