Poor jokes

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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I’m so poor, that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say Ding Dong!

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I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him. ?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do ??.

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Once upon a time there was a poor man, a middle class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said “I found happiness through money and all of my assets.” The middle class man said “I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household.” The poor man said “I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me. ” And then the wall fell on them.

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So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family

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Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

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Your so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker. The weekly family zoom call went well enough…until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little…plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets. So the father waited until he’d talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone. “Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?” “No, Pop, we haven’t seen anyone since we left the city,” his son told him earnestly. “And we sure haven’t gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!”

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