Priest jokes

What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!

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Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.

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Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing htm title=' father Priest Cause my hand is getting tired”'>it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

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What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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prst

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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

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So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

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Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

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