Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest? Father les.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
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