Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.
What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing htm title=' father Priest Cause my hand is getting tired”'>it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!” She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?” “Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.” Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
what kind of sex do priest love…nun
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
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