Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
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