3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
what do u call a preist in a room full of naked boys a Colonoscopy
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest? Father les.
There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.
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