What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
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