Priest jokes

A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

prst

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest