Priest jokes

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children?

A catholic priest

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What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor

The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!”

She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?”

“Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.”

Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”

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Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing htm title=' father Priest Cause my hand is getting tired”'>it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common — They both like fairies sitting on them.

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There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife”

Priest, “how so?”

Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all”

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again”

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!”

Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

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When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

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Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?

They both came in a little behind.

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Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

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There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

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