What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
what do u call a preist in a room full of naked boys a Colonoscopy
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
what kind of sex do priest love…nun
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
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