Priest jokes

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.

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So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”

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I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

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One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.

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What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

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They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible: Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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what do u call a preist in a room full of naked boys a Colonoscopy

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun

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What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

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