What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
what kind of sex do priest love…nun
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