I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”
prst
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
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