what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!” She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?” “Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.” Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
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