Priest jokes

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

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What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor

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Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

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Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

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girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

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Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

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What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

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There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

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