Priest jokes

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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones

On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

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There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

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Girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

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