Priest jokes

A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”

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A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”

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What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

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3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”

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What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

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girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

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Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

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Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor

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How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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