Priest jokes

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026