What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!” She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?” “Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.” Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
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