What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Do you know where priests go at night??? To all night sale a boys r us
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
RUS | ENG
