what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
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