Priest jokes

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

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How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.

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Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

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Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo

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what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”

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Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing htm title=' father Priest Cause my hand is getting tired”'>it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

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What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.

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There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

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What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

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Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.

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