Priest jokes

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.

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my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo

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What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers

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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

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What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

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What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”

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What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law

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What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

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How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.

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Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

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