Priest jokes

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport

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What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

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When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

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Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”

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They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible: Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

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