There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off
What’s a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds? They are all locked in the Priest’s basement.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
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