Priest jokes

A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.

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Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy

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What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

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A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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