Priest jokes

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What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

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What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!

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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.

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What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

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What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

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What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

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What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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