The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
Do you know where priests go at night??? To all night sale a boys r us
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
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