Priest jokes

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”

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I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

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What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!

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Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”

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Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

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