What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
RUS | ENG
