Priest jokes

What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

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Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

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A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”

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Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”

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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law

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Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

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Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

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What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

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What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.

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When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

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