What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”
What’s a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds? They are all locked in the Priest’s basement.
A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest? Father les.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
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