Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest
Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!” She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?” “Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.” Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
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