What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.
What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.
Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
RUS | ENG
