A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.
what kind of sex do priest love…nun
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
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