Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible: Thou shalt not f… altar boys
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.
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