Priest jokes

I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

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Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

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Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

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Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

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The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

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Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”

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what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

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How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.

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