Priest jokes

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.

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Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.

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Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport

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what kind of sex do priest love…nun

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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

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I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.

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Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”

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A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

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What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

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A priest walks into a wine store "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: “I said what I said.”

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