What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor
How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing htm title=' father Priest Cause my hand is getting tired”'>it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible: Thou shalt not f… altar boys
What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child
Do you know where priests go at night??? To all night sale a boys r us
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
RUS | ENG
