Priest jokes

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”

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What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”

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What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest? Father les.

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There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

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Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.

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What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor

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What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.

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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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