Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds? They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
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