Priest jokes

what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”

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What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

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What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

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What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic

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There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

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So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

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A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”

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A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

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What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.

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Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy

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What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.

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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport

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There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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