How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
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