There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
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