Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.
My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
So I threw a coconut at her
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
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