If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
RUS | ENG
