Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
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