Puns jokes

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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If trees could kill you, they wood.

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What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

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I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

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Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D

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You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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