I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
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