What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
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