Puns jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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