Puns jokes

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025