My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
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