Puns jokes

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah. Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

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how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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