Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
RUS | ENG
